grown & sexy

Recently, I was shopping for a 21st birthday outfit. For starters...I'm THE most indecisive person on the planet so I knew I was going to ask for tons of opinions. I had about 5 screenshots of a few faves and sent them to my pledge brothers. They only liked a few of them and asked me "what are we going for?" "naz, what's the vibe?". I responded, "I honestly, don't even know, I just want to look cute and take cute pictures." During the conversation, a lot of them reminded me that it was my 21st, I needed to give bad b*tch vibes, I needed to find my "grown and sexy". I responded "Honestly, I don't think I'll ever give bad b*tch...I always give cute and I'm just gonna have to be fine with that."

Later that night, not even going to lie, I got a little sad because I was thinking, dang...I'm turning 21, about to graduate college and I'm not "grown and sexy" and still give cute. I started to go on Instagram and Twitter and search different women I look up to and of course...began comparing myself. I realized my first problem was comparing my grown and sexy to others.

Everyone's grown and sexy is different! However, I feel like it's sort of inevitable to compare ourselves. Don't get me wrong, I am confident and love who I am, but of course there are times that I "wish I could look a certain way" or I put on an outfit and don't look like the IG girls lol. Here are a few things that have helped me with comparing myself:

• Comparisons are unfair: we always compare our worse to someone else's best

• Comparisons require measurements: 9 times out of 10 the measurements (literally or figuratively) of what we are comparing ourselves to are no where near equal because we are all so unique

• Compete less and appreciate more: comparison often turns into resentment, try and appreciate and compliment more

• Find inspiration without comparison: comparing is foolish, however learning from others and finding inspiration is helpful. check and see if what you're looking up to is producing positive influence or negative resentment

Here's to not rushing to find my grown and sexy and seeking inspiration. Comparing myself to only myself and being more comfortable.